so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
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Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
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I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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