Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize