We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
