I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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