just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Do vagina's smell?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
