I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
