I'm lost and stupid without you.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
