Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
