Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
