just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize