He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Randomize
