Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
im on a boat
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