STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
