I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
