dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
