JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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