Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
