Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
