Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Screwed.edu
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
