Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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