I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You're a waste of cheezeits
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
