He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just high enough for therapy.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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