Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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