I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
