Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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