found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Found the puke drawer
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
