i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
