Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
