once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
