i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
