$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
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Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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