marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
It was confusing and full of hummus
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
