worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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