maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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