Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
