Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Also, beer. Big fan.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize