so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
