you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
