everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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