Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
