Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Who wears a wallet chain?!
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
