party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
She even gives head with a lisp.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
