I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
