sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
