8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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