then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize