i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
