Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
