I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
