if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
