you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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