All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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