I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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