Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
This girl is more easily done than said...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
