I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize