They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
