I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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