home. puking in laundry basket.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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