there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Randomize
