You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
