Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be naked everywhere
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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