i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
