I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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