i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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