brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
