no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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