12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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