do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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