Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the day after is always just damage control
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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