So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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