i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
