I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
